I’m on line at a drugstore when I overhear this from a fellow customer reading a label:
BLEND OF DISTILLER’S SPICE, SINGLE-CASK BOURBON, AND WHITE OAK
This has to be from a can of hard seltzer, I’m thinking – booze that passes itself off as a diet beverage these days – but then it hits me: the pharmacy can’t sell liquor.
Turns out it’s from…a container of body wash for men.
Hmmm…now what sort of guy – or, to be precise, “gentleman,” according to the product’s website – would want to smell, well…in such high spirits, shall we say?
Can’t say for sure, but I do know that the body wash is just the beginning.
In fact, a “gentleman” can also purchase from the site, in this exact same “fragrance,” the following items in addition to the body wash:
- an exfoliating body bar
- a deodorant
- an anti-perspirant and deodorant (this is separate from the deodorant by itself)
- a “2 in 1” (shampoo plus conditioner)
- a spray cologne
(Hey – why stop there? Why not some mouthwash?)
Consider the job candidate who puts to use all of these before the big interview:
Interviewer: Son, you’re clearly qualified for the job, but there IS one concern.
Gentleman: Oh?
Interviewer: Well, I don’t quite know how to say this, but…
Gentleman: Sir?
Interviewer: Would you happen to be tight with a certain, uh…Jim Beam?
Gentleman: Ohhh – that’s just my body wash, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, and cologne!
Interviewer: Jim Beam is your body wash, deodorant, shampoo, conditioner, and cologne?
Even an interview for the traditionally well-saturated position of pirate might go south:
Pirate interviewer: Arrrr, be that the manly whiff of a bottle of rum oozin’ from yer ev’ry pore?
Pirate candidate: Yo-ho-ho, but no! ‘Tis nought but a blend of bourbony slop!
Pirate interviewer: Why, I’ll run ya through!
I don’t know. Safer to reserve all this “fragrance” for remote interviewing, don’t you think?
Bonus Lines
Got an unintentionally amusing line or phrase from anywhere in the business world? Email it to us at linesofcommerce@foothillsbusinessdaily.com and if we use it, you’ll receive $5 plus your name (or alias) in print.
Here’s an example from WeighingInFromMaryland:
I was in the market for a weight-loss program when I came across this title on a bookseller’s site: The No-Time-to-Lose Diet. Hey, if I didn’t have time to lose a few pounds, would I even be looking for a book on the topic in the first place?
Read more Lines of Commerce here. The column comes to FoothillsBusinessDaily.com on the final Friday of every month.