I’m searching online for a gift for an 8-year-old when I come across a business article on “the hottest holiday toys of 2021.” High on the list: slime.
Slime? Really?
The sticky blob you can make all by yourself with like 3 ingredients that you probably already have lying around at home? The goo that the parents of this kid will never forgive me for buying because it's bound to gunk up their TV remote and God knows what else? The gelatinous ooze that will make it seem like their child has arranged for a playdate at an EPA Superfund site?
Plus – does it even qualify as a toy? Isn’t it more a state of matter?
Sure enough, the first actual toy and craft aisles I check out have the same basic slime from yesteryear, except now with myriad variations, including “Cosmic Shimmer,” “Slimy Sand,” “Cloud,” “Rainbow Cake Surprise,” and “Butter Waffle,” all emphatically inedible despite some of the names.
My favorite is the “Glow-In-The-Dark Slime” from National Geographic, an organization whose website boasts dedication “to illuminating and protecting the wonder of the world.” Illumination through slime, clearly.
Besides the variety, the one novel feature is that several of the slime kits come with a container or isolating unit of some sort – a “tub,” a “studio,” a “lab”—presumably to control the mess.
And that’s when it hits me.
Is it possible that, in an age when our communities get slimed by an unpredictable viral variant every few months, we’re comforted by the idea of having our kids merrily manipulate a harmless shape-shifting entity in the safety of home?
A stretch, maybe, but the article itself gives a nod to the pandemic with this observation: “Anything that gets kids away from screens is in high demand in the era of virtual everything.” And I’m guessing the supply chain issues haven’t cut off access to the basic ingredients.
But hey, I’ll leave the heavy speculation to the experts. Me, I still have gift-shopping to do.
Bonus Lines
Got an unintentionally amusing line or phrase from anywhere in the business world? Email it to us at linesofcommerce@foothillsbusinessdaily.com and if we use it, you’ll receive $5 plus your name (or alias) in print.
Here’s a sample from SelfFulfillingShoppercy:
Was thinking of this gift for my hardworking mom: a recliner that can give a massage. Except a review said, “Mechanical massage chairs promise comfort, relaxation, and self-indulgence, but shopping for one can be stressful.” Sounds like I’m the one’s going to end up needing the thing!